I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
