Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
