I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
