My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
