I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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