He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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