on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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