i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
