I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
