i was born a porn star she said
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
