Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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