...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
