so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she pinky promised me she was 18
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
