If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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