Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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