it hurts more in the daytime
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
