nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
