Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
