return my video game
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Randomize
