I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It's official drugs can't kill me
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
