Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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