4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
