your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
is wine microwaveable?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
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