he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I'm really busy with my period
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