Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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