Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
