based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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