After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Randomize
