oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
