I just threw up on my dentist
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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