im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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