Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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