I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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