thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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