is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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