You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize