if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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