Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
