I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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