You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
