yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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