just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
