You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
