don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
