a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
