Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
