I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I want a musical about memes.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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