therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
