Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
