No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
So. Much. Porn.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
