where am i from again
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
you never un-have a 4some
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize