Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
