Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
