So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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