Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
