My nipple is on Facebook.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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