Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
