I'm pants shitting drunk right now
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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