he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
