It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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