Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
