so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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