that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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