I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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