Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
