he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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