I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
