i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
