omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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