You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
