She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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