Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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