i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
