I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she pinky promised me she was 18
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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