How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
