You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
