haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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