is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
